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Friday, February 8, 2019

fighting in front of the kids

In any relationship there are bound disagreements, as no two people approach life the exact same way. Psychology Today contributor, Laura Markham, Ph.D, wants parents to know that it's okay to be in conflict with your partner in front of the children, but to also learn how to damage control when the conversation turns from a healthy debate into a heated yelling match. Studies have shown that children's and infant's stress hormones escalate at the sound of angry voices and loud noises, which can lead to difficulty sleeping and an increase in anxiety. So, parents, when the temperature between you and your spouse begins to rise consider Markham's list below of questions to help keep your conflict in check:

  • does the tone stay respectful even when you disagree? 
  • do voices stay at a level tone?
  • do you both find a way to express your wants and needs without "attacking" each other?
  • is the tone in your home generally one of warmth and support?
  • does your child see daily ample evidence of emotional generosity on both sides? 
  • do you make a point of "making up" in front of your child?
  • are there at least five positive interactions for every negative interaction?
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